


Patches of Memory

by LokiNeedsHugs1031



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Winter Soldier - Fandom, captain america: civil war - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Body Worship, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes Returns, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Gay Bucky Barnes, Hurt, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Romantic Fluff, Smut, Steve Feels, Steve Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Feels, Top Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 16:36:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11017290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiNeedsHugs1031/pseuds/LokiNeedsHugs1031
Summary: What if soldiers hadn't shown up at Bucky's apartment while he was in hiding. What if Steve found him instead and no attack followed. Steve finally gets the chance to trigger Bucky's memories and they re-discover their romantic past.





	Patches of Memory

**Author's Note:**

> I just had to write some smutty fluff because of reasons! Hope ya'll enjoy! First time writing Stucky smut haha

            As cautiously as he’d done anything, Steve entered the run-down apartment building. Bucky was right to choose it though, it was anything but suspicious for an assassin in hiding. He thought about suiting up, shield in hand, but thought if he were going to confront Bucky he needed to be Steve Rogers, not Captain America.

            So far, the place looked empty, he took a look around, his eyes and ears open. Besides a barely stocked fridge, a worn out couch, and a radio, the place was pretty bare.

            “What are you doing here?” a voice broke the silence and Steve actually jumped.

            Bucky had no weapon on him, not that he could see, but he was most definitely poised for attack.

            “Not here to do anything, just here to talk,”

            “You got people on the roof?” his grey eyes were suddenly wild, mouth set in a tight line.

            “No, Bucky, no, it’s just me,” Steve attempted to placate, hands out, “Just wanna talk to you that’s all.”

            Bucky’s arms were at his side, his posture only slightly more relaxed, “Bout what?”

            Steve took a breath, wetting his lips, “Do you remember me Buck? I mean, really remember me?”

            Bucky’s throat worked convulsively, lashes fluttering as his eyes rose from the floor, “I-I went to that museum…about you…and there were pictures of me too. In the army…before…this…” he gestured to his metal arm.

            Marginally Steve moved closer, taking off the baseball cap atop his head, “That’s good, that’s really good. Anything from before that? You remember Brooklyn?”

            At the moment Bucky looked like a cornered cat, but he wasn’t fleeing, he locked eyes with Steve and Steve’s heart bounced. He remembered those eyes, they almost looked smoky when wet.

            “A little bit…I think…I’m not sure though, cause it doesn’t make sense. You and me…we….were we?” he scrubbed at his face with his flesh hand, fingers working against his scalp, “I have these dreams. And you don’t look like you do now…you fit… perfectly in my lap. And when you were sick…I use to carry you around the apartment. Like the time you got scarlet fever…”

            Steve was smiling without thought, “I remember that, you stayed at my place that entire week. Cause my fever got so high I couldn’t even walk. It was awful.”

            “Steve…” now Bucky was, without a doubt, trembling, “I-I’m confused.”

            Steve took a chance and moved closer into Bucky’s space, “I know, it’s a lot, we have a pretty long history together, pal.”

            “How long…” his brow was scrunched, “Since we were kids.”

            “First kiss was when we were about 19 I’d say. I’d gotten into my umpteenth fight, nearly got my hand broken…”

            “You were cryin’ about the injustice of it all,” Bucky chuckled, low and soft, “And I joked that I could ‘kiss and make it better’. And so I did and you stopped crying.”

            Steve’s heart sped up after that, because he always held that memory close and it was vivid. It was nauseatingly painful to recall after Bucky fell, even more so when he woke up years later, alone in New York.

            Very slowly, to show his intent, he reached for Bucky’s face, waiting for permission and when he wasn’t slammed to the floor, he cupped Bucky’s cheek. He made a small gasping sound, and then another when Steve joined his other hand, pressing his palm  gently, brushing both thumbs beneath his grey eyes.

            “Stevie I,” he fell into the touch, to a point where Steve carefully walked him backwards until his back bumped the wall, “I’m so sorry….”

            For a few seconds, Steve simply soaked in the feeling of having these gentle touches again, “Don’t apologize. None of this was your fault.”

            “Wasn’t it?” he squeaked, chest hitching, “All those people…and you…I hurt you…fuck I almost killed you!” both of Bucky’s hands rested on Steve’s forearms.

            “Buck, I know that wasn’t you, why do you think I came looking for ya?” Steve sighed, skimming his fingers through Bucky’s hair, brushing it away from his face. He removed his baseball cap, letting it drop to the floor. As Bucky’s eyes watered over even more, Steve thought, there he is. Oh God, there he is. He leaned forward and kissed one cheek, and when that earned him no resistance, he moved to the other. He could feel Bucky trembling, head to toe.

            “What if I hurt you again?” Bucky quivered, all but melting against the lips to his cheeks.

            Steve’s heart clenched, because there was every possibility that he could, but a life without Bucky wasn’t a life. He didn’t answer, he simply joined their lips and this garnered him an uneven whimper. Bucky’s hands were still clutching Steve’s arms as he opened his mouth up, their tongues brushing.

            Bucky’s knees gave out and that automatically had Steve wrapping his arms around his torso, holding him up and against the wall. He kept his touch light, because the last thing he wanted to do was have Bucky feeling trapped. He traced his lips with his own, before diving back in and it was as if no time at all passed between them. It was 1939, there wasn’t any ugliness of war, there was no dark past where Bucky was torn from Steve’s side. Steve felt truly grounded when Bucky reciprocated the embrace.

            “Oh baby-doll,” Bucky muttered between increasingly heated kisses, “I missed you so much, so goddamn much.”

            Steve eyes began to burn, never ceasing their kisses, “I know sweetheart, I’ve missed you too, missed this. Been so lonely without you.”

            Then it was Bucky maneuvering them away from the wall, step by step towards the mattress in the far corner of the living room. Steve was hardly aware until the backs of his knees hit the bed and he was falling on his ass. Bucky quickly crowded onto his lap, effectively straddling him with both, thick thighs.

            It was Bucky that had Steve’s face in both hands, assaulting his mouth, all teeth and tongue and breathless. Steve felt as if he was chasing that mouth as he arched his back, pushing himself upwards towards the man above him. Steve managed to get his own hands working, and was pushing away the hoodie from Bucky’s frame until it fell in a heap to the floor, soon after the tight fitting t-shirt.

            “Up,” Bucky panted, Steve did as told and tugged the shirt up and over his head, “Jesus, I remember this. I remember this _real_ well,” he pushed against Steve’s shoulders, pressing him fully to the bed.

            Steve had been denied this kind of touch for so long he’d almost forgotten what it felt like all together. He was dizzy with it and it didn’t take long for his pants to become painfully tight as Bucky trailed kisses over his chest, nosing down his sternum.

            He pressed a firm kiss to Steve’s navel and tipped his head up to lock eyes, “You been with anyone since me?” it was said in a typically sarcastic Bucky way, but there was hesitance behind the question, no doubt jealousy and hurt.

            “No one, never been anybody but you,” Steve exhaled unsteadily, cupping Bucky’s cheek once more and he cursed to himself inwardly that tears were prickling the corners of his eyes.

            “Me neither.” Bucky continued his trail of kisses around the hard planes of Steve’s stomach, each feathering touch eliciting a shiver or a moan. When Bucky latched onto one nipple Steve bucked upwards and was shamelessly whining already. Touch starved was an understatement.

            “Glad to see that hasn’t changed,” Bucky teased, circling his tongue around one nub, while pinching the other between his fingers, rolling the bud achingly slow until it was pink and perk, “Still a hot button, huh baby?”

            “Ah, shit, you are such a jerk,” Steve groaned, eyes nearly rolling back in his head, but hell did he love it. He wasn’t sure how he’d gone without this, Bucky’s lips, Bucky’s touch. The lustful fog was even heavier when he felt lips on his groin, hot breath merely ghosting as Bucky pulled away his jeans, “Buck, come’re, please,” he didn’t want this over too soon, Bucky did as told and they were kissing again.

            Steve took that moment to roll Bucky carefully onto his back, for a moment he stroked his face, fingers falling to his throat and collarbone, his heaving chest. He began his own decent, placing slow careful kisses against his throat, searching for Bucky’s weak spot, the junction just between his shoulder and neck. Once he found it, the deep shuddering whine as evidence, he took his time to lap and suck.

            When Steve snuck a hand down to brush a thumb over one nipple, circling it over and over again Bucky was arching his back into the touch, trying and failing to rub their groins together, he spat out a breathy, “Stevie, please.”

            Steve separated their lips, only long enough to free Bucky of his own pants, shoes and socks. And then they were kissing again, madly so, rutting against one another. Bucky had always been a giver in the bedroom, but Steve wanted this to be about him. Also, praising Bucky in bed was one of the other man’s biggest turn ons. He would never admit it, but it got him going faster than any touch could do.

            Steve kept Bucky on his back, kissing him senseless, until the only sounds in the room were rough panting and whimpers.

            “You’re so beautiful Buck, always have been, every inch of you,” he murmured against the hot flesh beneath his lips, his hand sneaking down below his waist. As he took Bucky in his hand, there was no mistaking that Bucky sobbed, “I love you so much, so beautiful.”

            “Steve,” Bucky trembled, “Don’t deserve that…”

            Steve sighed unhappily, even as they rocked together in tandem, “Yes you do, always have. You always looked out for me, always took care of me.”

            “Darlin’ so much has changed, oh fuck,” he gasped as Steve thumbed his slit, slickening him up with his own pre-come.

            “Yes, a lot has changed, but not my feelings for you, nothin’ will ever change that,” Steve whispered against Bucky’s ear.

            “N-Need more, been too long, please, need to feel you,” he rolled his hips again with another loud whine, “Lube in that drawer.”

            “You said,” Steve began, and that earned him a chuckle.

            “Man has personal needs Stevie,” he huffed, “Come on baby doll, fuck me.”  
            Steve retrieved the lube, delving in for another kiss, “There will be no fucking.” he dotted kisses along his jawline, before sucking one lobe between his teeth, giving it a firm tug, “Makin’ love to you. There ain’t another word for it.” He felt every pore on Bucky’s flesh call to attention and another cry trickled from his throat when Steve circled his opening with light caresses before breaching with one finger, then two, by three he knew Bucky was both close and possibly becoming overwhelmed.

            He pulled away his fingers, adding more lube to the both of them, “Is this too much? Are you alright?”

            Tears were trickling from Bucky’s eyes as he clutched at his own hair, “I need this, please, don’t make me beg I’m fine.”

            As Steve bent his legs, cautiously teasing his opening, he kissed both knees before pressing in. Bucky groaned, loud and throaty, a litany of ‘oh, fuck, oh fuck’ falling fast and fervent from his panting mouth.

            Steve bent at just the right angle, brushing that sensitive gland deep inside and Bucky nearly launched off the bed with a high-pitched grunt.

            “Steve…”

            Steve swallowed up a cry as he kissed the man writhing below him, “I know sweetheart, I know.” he panted, taking Bucky in his hand and pumping in rhythm with his hips, “So beautiful when you’re like this, all flushed, so good for me.”

            “Oh, fuck!” he cried out once more, wrapping his arms around Steve so tightly there would no doubt be bruises later.

            He held tight to Bucky’s legs, nailing his prostate every time, his own control was waning but he wanted Bucky to come first, “Come for me sweetheart, come for me,” and then Bucky was climaxing, voice trill and high and desperate as he clenched around Steve’s length, his whole body locking up with sensation. It was the pure, raw, nature of Bucky’s scrunched up face that had Steve’s orgasm cresting so powerfully he thought he might faint.

            They stayed entangled together, heaving great gulps of air, Bucky kept his face buried in the crook of Steve’s neck, wet breaths heating his skin. A few seconds passed before Steve was asking, “You okay?”

            A non-verbal nod of his head was all he got as well as a soft grunt when he pulled out. He fell at Bucky’s side, still holding the man close to his chest. They simply laid together, no words at first, as Steve traced shapeless nothing’s along his bareback.

            Steve began to get worried at the lengthiness of the silence until he felt a small chuckle pass Bucky’s lips, “What? What are you laughing about?”

            “Remember that time the radio got busted? We didn’t have the money to fix it, and for two whole weeks you sang every stupid, dopey love song you knew. You ain’t got the singing voice I know that much, doll.”

            Then Steve was laughing, the memory cascading across his mind as he combed his fingers through Bucky’s dark, damp locks, “I drove you nuts, I think you took every bit of overtime just to get it fixed.”

            “You did that on purpose just to get it fixed faster,” he sighed, finally lifting his head to rest his chin on Steve’s chest. He reached forward and ran a thumb over Steve’s bottom lip, “Good ole days, huh?”

            “We can have that again. We’ll figure all this out, I promise you,” Steve said, even though he had no clue how. But he couldn’t give this up again. He wouldn’t survive it, “I’m here till the end of the line, and everything in between. I love you Buck.”

            “I love you too punk,” Bucky replied exhaling roughly, tears close behind, moving upwards to capture his lips once more.

            “You got a shower in this joint?” Steve hummed happily with the slow, deliberate kisses that always came after sex.

            “Of course I do, whatta ya think I am an animal?” he grinned, pinching Steve’s side.

            He arched sideways with a yelp, nearly falling off the bed, and Bucky only smiled wider, “Good to know the serum didn’t fix all your weak spots,” he chuckled again.

            “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” he growled, and with another loud yelp of “Stop!” when Bucky moved close again, poking his lower rib with more purpose and a well-placed wiggle. He was always hypersensitive after sex, that was one thing that had never changed. Serum or no serum, “Way to ruin a moment.”

            “I’m sure I can make up for it in the shower,” he followed Steve off the bed and pulled him into his arms.

            “It big enough for both of us?” Steve arched an eyebrow, still on defense for prodding fingers.

            “Only one way to find out,” leading Steve’s arms around his shoulder, pressing their lips together that had Steve hoping that it was indeed big enough.

           

**Author's Note:**

> pleeeeeease review!!!


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